• Lana

I don't matter - how great is that :-)

As we approach the end of May and continue moving through this different way of functioning, I wanted to share what has been on my mind this week, the fact that, ultimately, I don't matter. This may sound a little negative, a little depressive, but in fact for me it is the total opposite. Have you ever stood at a foot of a mountain range, on top of a mountain or at the shore of the ocean and paused for a moment, opened your eyes, your senses and your heart, seated and surrounded by the great vast and alluring size of these magnificent fabrications of nature? When I stand at the oceans shore or among the mountains, the hills (in Wiltshire) or stare at the nights sky, I realise I am so little and it allows my anxiety, my stress, my fears and qualms to reduce or eliminate, because I know, in that moment, they just aren't relevant. That is not the life we are born to fulfill. "What is bestowed on us at birth is called human nature,  The fulfillment of human nature is called the Tao. The cultivation of the Tao is the deepest form of learning." (page 2; The Second Book of the Tao, by Stephen Mitchell) In life we are born with no expectation, no requirements, no conditioning placed onto our shoulders and no preconceived ideas of what is right / wrong; beautiful / ugly. We are here to exist, to walk a life as is. Yet through our upbringings, our experiences, we become attached to the idea that to be meaningful, to be of worth, to have the right to bring certain things into our lives, that we must tick certain boxes. Whether this is the way we look, what we drive, where we live, what we own, what we do, how we speak, how we present ourselves etc. Now, what if, just for a moment, we came back to what we were bestowed with at birth, human nature. And to fulfill our born right. This would mean that we would have the ability to rid the needing & wanting, rid what has happened or what isn't so, and instead connect to our soul, to our inner journey and the journey, that is just this.  Without conditioning bearing weight upon our shoulders, we can move through lifetime with a little more space, lightness and ease, so when there are certain bumps in the road, uncertainty, disarray or fear. Then we are able to move in a sense of flow, open to all possibilities, ultimately knowing that we have no-knowing. When people like this move through our lives, there is a radiance about them, I have witnessed a few. A sense of ease, you can see it in their eyes, a sense of freedom, not in the world, but from their minds, within themselves.  This should not be mistaken, with the idea that we don't show up to life. Of course we can have goals, aims, focus and intent, but it is the concept that our 'true essence', everything we need, lies within. Right now.  And that it is time to pay attention, and try to buffer the unnecessary things surrounding us, as it is most likely that they will and can cause suffering. So buffer away and find the road's you travel through life upon with a larger sense of ease, flow and freedom.  So give yourself a moment, to breathe in the unconditional love you hold, to realise that there is not one thing you need to do externally to live more fully, that this abundance is within you already, we just need to seek within, rid layers of mud that shade our gaze. And through all the Chaos, the unknown, we are whole, centered deep within. We do not need to control, we can let go of right and wrong and breathe into this life. Now. I was born to live, love and breathe fully To offer love fully  To watch the sunrise at 5am To see the sunset at 8pm  To not feel judgement and not to judge  To open my eyes and be fulfilled with the world's beauty  To experience life with my spirit and my soul  To be connected to everyone and everything To be more joyous, understanding, compassionate and loving.  Right here - right now - this.is.yoga.  It is a journey to remember the possibilities of what we can offer ourselves, a lesson I learn daily. But, it is a road I choose to keep travelling upon, to find more peace within. To not let the stories and actions of past have their grip and to not be searching for the next step, but instead to breathe into the world that we are gifted to move within. Magic!


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